Monday, May 22, 2006

The ultimate "You Know You're from Texas if ...." list!

  1. You see more Texan flags than American flags.
  2. You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
  3. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.
  4. You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
  5. You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
  6. You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
  7. You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree.
  8. You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
  9. You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
  10. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
  11. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is.
  12. You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
  13. Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
  14. You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
  15. You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
  16. You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
  17. You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
  18. You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
  19. You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
  20. Your Pastor wears boots.
  21. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
  22. The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
  23. Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
  24. Roadrunners dont say Beep Beep
  25. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
  26. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple no ones seen before.
  27. Possums will eat anything.
  28. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are ripe.
  29. If it grows, it sticks. If it crawls, it bites.
  30. Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.
  31. There are valid reasons some people put concertina wire around their house.
  32. You cannot find a country road without a curve from corner to corner.
  33. A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle, they do get stuck.
  34. The wind blows at 90 MPH from Oct. 2 until June 25, then it stops totally until Oct 2.
  35. Onced and Twiced are good words.
  36. It is not a shopping cart it is a buggy.
  37. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
  38. Graduating 1st in your class means you left in the 8th grade.
  39. Coldbeer actually is one word.
  40. People really grow and eat okra.
  41. Green grass DOES burn.
  42. When you live in the country, you dont have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night.
  43. When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, its time to go to the doctor.
  44. Fixinto is one word.
  45. The word dinner is confusing. Theres only lunch and then theres supper.
  46. Backards and forards means I know everything about you.
  47. Jeeet? is actually a phrase meaning Did you eat?
  48. You work until youre done or its too dark to see.
  49. You measure distance in minutes.
  50. Youve had to switch from heat to A/C in the same day.
  51. Stores dont have bags; they have sacks.
  52. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is.
  53. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Picante.
  54. You think sexy lingerie is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.
  55. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
  56. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
  57. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Christmas.
  58. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population over 1000.
  59. Going to Walmart is a favorite past-time known as goin wal-martin or off to Wally World.
  60. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
  61. A carbonated soft drink isnt a soda, cola, or pop .. its a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
  62. You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water...
  63. You can say 110 degrees without fainting...
  64. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off...
  65. You can make instant sun tea...
  66. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron...
  67. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly...
  68. You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car...
  69. You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window...
  70. You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance...
  71. Hot water now comes out of both taps...
  72. It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets...
  73. You actually burn your hand opening the car door...
  74. You break a sweat the instant you step outside... at 7:30 a.m. before work...
  75. No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning...
  76. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?...
  77. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state...
  78. Its illegal to have a tattoo until youre 18, but children of all ages can play with guns
  79. You dont think its weird to drink a beer at anytime of day, even the morning
  80. You think its weird not to drink a beer
  81. You can drive all day and not leave the state
  82. The confederate flag is flown at your high school, the team is even named after it
  83. You shop at HEB
  84. The town you live in is bigger than Rhode island
  85. You see more trucks on your daily commute than youll see in the state of New Jersey
  86. Your high school football stadium is equal to, or better, than most professional stadiums
  87. You know there are more longhorn, cattle and steer than there people in the state
  88. We dont have an ocean; we have a gulf
  89. You know someone who is named Pedro or Martin
  90. Their last name is Gonzales, Martinez or Rodriguez
  91. You eat tacos for breakfast
  92. You think Dr. Pepper is the best damn coke in the world
  93. The extensions of the index and pinky make for the best hand gesture in the world besides the shocker
  94. The best parties are on at least two acres of land
  95. You can go anywhere with a gun on your truck and no one thinks twice about it
  96. You know someone with a gun related injury
  97. Getting stuck in the mud is a challenge, not an avoidance
  98. We panic when there is an inch of snow on the ground
  99. Air conditioning is standard on every car sold here
  100. You've said I've never met a Jewish person before
  101. You design your Halloween costume to fit over Wranglers and cowboy boots.
  102. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
  103. You have more miles on your tractor than your car.
  104. You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat.
  105. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.
  106. The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering." and five guys stand up.
  107. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
  108. When it rains, everyone is smiling.
  109. The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale."
  110. Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
  111. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
  112. Baptism is referred to as "branding."
  113. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
  114. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
  115. People wonder, when Jesus fed 5,000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
  116. The final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"
  117. It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
  118. It's a common misconception that the women have big hair. In fact this was outlawed in July 1977. There is a task force and they are doing their best to reach every last woman. Bear with us.
  119. A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?" A rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?"The visitor replied, "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood." "Well," the rancher puffed up, we got 'bout two and a half inches of that."
  120. A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."
  121. Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout counter . . .
  122. A formula less than 30 SPF is a joke and you only wear that to go to the corner store . . .
  123. You can properly pronounce Corsicana, Ennis, Waxahachie, Palestine, Decatur, Wichita Falls, San Antonio, Mexia, Waco, and Amarillo.
  124. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard and look for a funnel.
  125. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
  126. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
  127. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.
  128. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
  129. You arent surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and bait all in the same store.
  130. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Chevy 3500 4Ã4 is.
  131. You know everything goes better with Ranch.
  132. You go to the river/lake because you think it is like going to the ocean.
  133. You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!
  134. Your family pet is the stray dog with one leg that came limping up to your door.
  135. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
  136. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road."
  137. I drive a pickup truck because I want to.
  138. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
  139. They are cattle & oil wells. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-20 and I-10 go east and west, I-35 goes north and south. Pick one.
  140. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
  141. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
  142. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
  143. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
  144. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
  145. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
  146. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
  147. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
  148. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
  149. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
  150. Colleges? Try Texas Tech, Texas A&M, University of Texas or Texas State. Kids come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays.
  151. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state
  152. Always remember what our great governor Sam Houston once said:"Texas can make it without the United States, but the United States can't make it without Texas!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You missed a major thing about Texas that I had never seen before. I grew up in Florida, then moved to Michigan, and then made my way down to Texas. The traffic lights are completely different. Down there, they go left to right, up in Michigan, as well as Florida the light go up and down. That's the biggest difference I noticed.

1:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

damn well ive lived in Texas all my life and some of that suff anint least not in tis day...Texans practically live in Micky Ds.....this is how it really is....

-When you begin & end conversations with "ALREADY"
-When you hear "SYRUP", you automatically think drank; not the condiment
-You call people "KINFOLK" or "KINVERT" even tho they're not related to you
-You can finish the lines:
"What's the_____deal/ Man hold____/Got too much___in my___
-You fuck with McDonalds 8 days a week
-A 102 degrees is normal
-At least one of your middleschool highschool teachers was a coach
-You know @ least 15 people @ Prairie View
-You know Hwy. 35,I-30 and I-10 can get you ANYWHERE
-You remember when Paul Wall and Chamillionaire went hard as a team
-"T.Jones" or "T-Lady" is reserved for Mamas
-You know the truth: Mike Jones really ain't that good WHO ?
-You know the meaning of:
*Poppin trunk
-Dominoes is just as much apart of the family reunion as the family
-You have never said "you all" in your life u always sayin yall
-You have a porch, not a stoop
-You say >> thats what that "is"
or "aint" and sumtimes "thats wats up"
-You love Cadillacs and Caprises; it's in your blood
-You miss the REAl Fuck Actions (hell yea )
-You know what it means to "roll a big body"


10:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On a two-lane highway, when another pickup appears behind you, you drift over and drive on the shoulder for a while to let 'im pass without having to get into the opposing traffic.

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Mandy said...

Yes! That is the biggest thing for me. I am from Texas born and raised for 25 years. I just moved to Florida, a year ago, and I am flabbegasted that people don't move the fuck over for you when you come up behind them. In Texas, if you don't move and wave, you get honked at and flipped off. LMAO.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous cntrygurl said...

most of these things are true bout texas. i've lived here all my life and a lot of city people move here but other than that true texans are like what this says. but the people movin here keep on tryin to change us. but most of us like me and my family are real texans and love the way we is. And if your from texas and you know if you keep animals you have to cool em down durin the day just to keep em alive. but anyways wanted to comment and say that everythin bout texas is great and thats a great start list of everythin a true texan loves.

9:56 PM  
Blogger EAGLESFAN666 said...

You know you're from Texas when...

You've slept with your sister

You have 3 teeth

You are morbidly obese

Your favorite football team gets steamrolled by the Philadelphia Eagles

6:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"52. You know what cow tipping and snipe hunting is. "

No . You know what cow tipping is, but you know it isn't true because cows lay down and sleep in the shade!

11:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know you're from texas when

the after party is at Whataburger or Taco Cabana

6:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

uhh those were all stupid and stereotypical.

How about having an actual texan make a list and all yall can stick to your own states.
please and thank you

7:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way to take a joke, asshole!

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love this!
but you forgot to mention sweet tea!
you're not a real texan if you don't drink more sweet tea than water! i grew up on that stuff =]

8:25 PM  
Blogger Lala said...

I like the taco cabana comment. my first day in texas. . .guess where we went after church?

And hey, what about BlueBell?!? I'm so glad I live with a texan--we often have bluebell (donated by friends and family when they drive up) and dr. pepper. I now dislike breyer's dreyer's store brand, etc--all because i tried bluebell

3:55 PM  
Anonymous himynameisMYRANDA said...

yeah, most of this stuff is stupid cliche texas stuff.
"graduating first in your class mans you left in the 8th grade"
"the confederate flag is flown at your high school, the team is even named after it"
"you've said I've never met a jewish person before"
"you design your halloween costume to fit over wranglers and cowboy boots"
just about all of these are bullshit.
seriously, was the person that made this even from texas?

9:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"the confederate flag is flown at your high school, the team is even named after it"

Guilty. Tascosa Rebels. A confederate flag was flown at my freshmen football games. We've since then become politically correct. And to all of the people asking to stop stereotyping Texas, fix your spelling and grammar and maybe they'll think about it. "I like the way I is." Are you serious? No wonder they think we're inbred hicks

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This proves texans are unintelligent.

8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very few of these are true. I was born and raised in Texas. Here is the shocker, I'm not a redneck. Most of the things written were about the redneck ways... try listing about Austin, Dallas, Houston and San Antonio! As already dubbed... "city folk" have more sense to do have of this shit. I'm not a princess... I'm realistic. The Metropolitan areas DO NOT do half of this shit. Ridiculous

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hate to burst ya'll's bubble but this is true even for some of the city folk! I'm lived in Texas my entire life and never lived out of the Houston area and most of this is true, not all of it and not all of it is everybody but I've seen most of it done!!

One major thing that was forgotten though:
The plural of ya'll is all ya'll and is used frequently in daily conversation.

9:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to say that Eaglesfan666 is an idiot. I've lived in Texas my whole life and I'm skinny as can be, I have all my teeth, thank you, and Texas actually is NOT known for incestuous relationships.

Anyway, the list is funny, there were a few that didn't really make me laugh, but most were pretty good. And I'm from Texas and I'm not offended, actually I'm laughing at how accurate it is, so people need to chill.

Stupid trollers.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ive lived in texas my whole life & alot of stuff are just cliches about texas. although some stuff is true. but this was really funny anyway, just to see what other people think of texas and jokes people makae about texas. yall should come to texas to see how true texans really act!

7:13 PM  
Anonymous Ashley Friedrick said...

Hey, I've lived in Texas my entire life and a lot of this is true. The "city folk" who says it's not true are just that "city folk" you're not a Texan if you haven't seen half this stuff. You may have been "born and raised here" but that doesn't mean you have the culture. You have the city so just shut it. Oh and stupid trollers, if you don't like it then get the heck out of here. No one needs to see your stupid negative comments that aren't even proper negative feedback. Oh and if you want to really criticize what someone has put on the internet trying spelling right and having proper punctuation. "U" does not represent the word "you." "U" is a letter, not a word. Get it right. So shut up and leave or learn the proper ways of the english language.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aight I'm just gonna put my two since in. I love this list and I think it's funny as hell. I grew up in a small town in East Tx of under 1200 people and we had a B&B, a Dairy Queen and a football statium that seated over 4000. But as far as the comments go that all Texas redneck are ignorant and stupid. I graduated with a 3.9 gpa from University of Texas and Majored in Aeronautical Engineeringand Minored in Aeronautic Design. And by the way I still drive my 4X4 Chevy pickup that I got in High school everyday to work and my stray dog that I picked up under a bridge one day loves to ride with me when I go hunting. You got a problem with that you can "Kiss my Texan Ass!"

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Most of those phrases are stereotypes. My proof: I was born and raised in Texas. I was born in Austin so I know those aren't all true.

8:16 AM  
Blogger Ryan said...

Of course they aren't all true. But there are a lot of these that are. And as for the stereotypes well they come but we still know we're the best damn state ever.

9:19 AM  
Anonymous true2you said...

Ok people. Most of this stuff is true, and I laughed and agreed with the ones that are. But the stuff like, "You have 3 teeth" and "morbidly obese"? Really, Dude? Do you even live in Texas? I've lived in Texas my whole life and I ain't either one of those. I ride horses, live in the backwoods, and my entire Dad's side of the family are true rednecks that you don't wanna mess with. But we ain't fat and we have most of our teeth.
So quit dissin' on our state. We know you're jealous, but seriously? Texans have manners, and if you consider yourself a Texan, act like one and quit given' us a bad name.

3:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think the list is pretty dang funny...I mean I've lived in Texas my whole life, and I'm from the boondocks of East Texas. No, not all of this crap is true, but a lot of it is. There's also a lot of stuff that should be added.. About the bad grammar and Texans bein' stupid, is bull crap. I talk like a redneck, but that doesn't mean anything!! I talk right when I have to, I never had less then an 'A' in English! All y'all other states are just jealous of Texan's pride for their state. I know y'all are, because I've been told by several friends I have from other states. Oh, and the tumbleweed Christmas tree..I've only seen tumbleweed once, and that was in California haha.

"You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans."
That's true!

OH, one thing about this that did bother me was the highways, hello?! Did you forget about I-45?! That's like the main one!

10:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not all Texans speak with 'Y'all' and 'Ain't'. I've lived in Texas since I was two-years-old so I consider myself Texan. I've RARELY used y'all or ain't.
Texans are polite, men and BOYS like 10-year-old boys hold doors open for girls and ladies. I have NEVER seen anything as stereotypical as this.
Sure we own horses, some of us can walk from our house to the corner store in five minutes but who cares?
Obviously you guys are just plain out jealous of our mighty fine state.
Thank you to all the real Texans that talked about our state as it REALLY is.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People from Austin and Dallas don't usually count. Especially Dallas>
if you live in Texas, and are proud to be a Texan, you don't consider people from dallas to be Texans.

Life's too short to live in Dallas.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People are complaining because that's not how Texas is? Texas is so huge that all of those things are included somewhere. Remember that..

Almost all of those are true.

5:12 PM  
Anonymous Proud SmallTown texan said...

OMG this is soo funny! I live in a small town that revolves around sports and academics, and yes more than half of my teachers were coaches! And why do all these big city people keep on saying stuff? This list is soo not about ya'll! If you are from small town Texas, then you know that there is a difference between small town and city. but this list is extremely funny and true! i went to Kansas for two days, and they all said pop! haha I'm like its its soda! And yes i can freaking love HEB and Dr pepper! Texans rock! But Kansas Jayhawks Basketball beat your socks off!

1:01 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A lot of this stuff is confusing Texas, with Alabama!
-have 3 teeth, that's a bama thing
-you slept with your cousin, that's an alabama thing.

-You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, Still summer, and Winter, now that's a Texas thing!

1:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you know your from Texas if your a steer or a queer ha ha just joking I'm from Dallas.. I'm in Wyoming now and thats all people can say about Texas. I tell them steers, queers, and badasses who will wooop your ass!!

2:16 PM  
Blogger Cody said...

The only way your not a Texan in Austin is if your out of state or a hippie. I know plenty of people from austin that are just like all other texans. trust me, i am one

6:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know you live in Texas when you have so much pride you just have to write this down.

8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

okay...this may not apply to all people...but some of this is true...not only because i am from a small town in Texas, because some of it isn't true, even for a small town...people from Texas aren't incest, not all of us are retarded hicks, being redneck isn't racist, or a bad's taking pride in being from Texas and being "Country"

9:17 PM  
Anonymous xyellowxrosex said...

Haha, I'm from San Antonio, which is a pretty big city, so I haven't seen some of the things on this list, HOWEVER, I do not doubt them to be true. I've only met one Jewish person in my life, everyone owns a pair of "dressy" cowboy boots, and major high school rival football games are more celebrated than major holidays. I've been out of state and it's almost culture shock to NOT see a pickup truck at every intersection or to hear Californians calling 79 degree weather a "heat wave." Unlike other states, tanning is not a choice or leisure activity; A day working in the Texas sun will get you tanner than a Jersey juicehead. One thing I am very proud of is hearing people from all over the country and world saying Texas is the friendliest place they've ever been. I plan on leaving Texas for college, but like they say, "You can take the girl out of Texas, but you can't take the Texas out of the girl."

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A man walked into a bar in Texas and asked for a beer. The bar tender said, "That'll be $10.00".

The customer said, TEN DOLLARS???

The bar tender said, "Yup this here's TEXAS... things is BIG and HIGH around here."

The customer then asked for a pickled egg. The bar tender said, "Okay partner. That'll be $20.00"

The customer said, "TWENTY DOLLARS???"

The bar tender said, "Yup. This here's TEXAS! Things is BIG and HIGH around here!"

The customer said, "Okay then, just let me have a glass of water."

When the bar tender turned sideways to get the customer a glass of water the bar tender showed his hump back.

The bar tender said, "Well ain't ya gonna say sumpin 'bout my hump back? Every one else does."

The customer said, "Well, things are so BIG and HIGH around here, I thought that was your ass."

9:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the serious side,

Waylon Jennings gave an interview a few years before he died where he talked about being from Texas.

Waylon said when he was a boy growing up in Texas, they were taught they were smarter, taller, better, stronger and so on, than people from any other state.

He said the real dissapointment came when he left Texas and found out the things he had been taught as a boy were just not true.

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is hilarious because so much of it is TRUE. haha!!!

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said... not all cars have standard air conditioning?

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha, I was confused about the car thing, too... I thought A/C was standard everywhere!

There are some things I raised an eyebrow but a lot of it I laughed about, those of you who find this offensive need to lighten up! Who cares if other people have a negative idea of us? Like someone else said above me, one of the greatest compliments I've heard from out-of-staters who have actually been here is how genuinely nice people are here. So what if people think that Texas is for "steers and queers", or if they think we're all rednecks with three teeth and no education? We know better than that, so just laugh it off and show them that Southern Hospitality when they come down for a visit (and rub it in their noses how much less cost of living is here!).

6:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

even if you do live in a city like dallas(like me) these things are true more or less. such as the heat related ones, i have scars from seat belts!

3:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those from Dallas are just as Texan as the rest of us. How hurtful to alienate them! I admit I am somewhat regionalist in that I prefer the south, and more importantly I prefer Texas, but I would never go so far as to isolate any of my brethren here as "un-Texan."

7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It isn't "Jeeet?" It's "J-eet?" There's a pause. Obviously.

Funny, though, really. Not entirely accurate, but I doubt it's supposed to be.

6:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find this hilarious and...actually it's pretty accurate. My fiance is from Texas and well...this is pretty damn accurate. He'd probably read this and nod and laugh and say "yep, that's true!"

3:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to live in a small town out in West Texas, but I since moved to San Antonio and then Austin. Almost all of these things are true for the small town, only one or two aren't for San Antonio and only the hunting ones aren't for Austin. Just sayin', but this is surprisingly accurate and very funny.

1:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

haha i love this its pretty cool i live in a small town thats good sized small but not really small and me and my family are really true rednecks it really fun family reunions but its not dominos its mexican bingo uno and skip bo and people from dallas and austin cant say crap there snobby people that dont live in the real deal texas and at my school we pants people who sagg its stupid and nobody wants to to at your freakinn underwear they are all stupid ghetto queers that can kiss my big texan ass :)

8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love how everyone says "I was born and raised in Texas and this stuff ain't true." But later on they say they're from Austin. Well that explains it! Half the people in Austin right this second aren't even from Texas. How can you expect a city of non-Texans act like any of the other REAL CITIES?

Even if you were born and raised in Texas, And even though Austin may be our capital, just because you were born and raises in Austin doesn't make you a true Texan.

Can I get an Amen?!

8:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ok guys most of these are true, come on. i was born and raised in San Antonio and i fit/seen most of these. If your from Austin, y'all don't count, y'all ain't true Texans. these may be stereo types but that doesn't mean that they aren't true. if you don't believe these then you just need to come down here for a bit, you will find 'em all. :D

12:57 PM  
Blogger RememberGoliad said...

Grew up in south Texas brush country... "God's Country"... (it's called that because nobody else wanted it, so He's still got it)....

Moved to Illinois for 5 years, not Schitcago, but the rural part of the state, and believe me, it was an eye-opener! I think it's a rural-urban thing, not a Texas-not Texas thing, and none of our cities here ever really got the snooty, urban attitude until just very recently.

Only reason most of these on this list don't happen in other places is because they haven't thought of them yet :) One thing that I noticed never happens anywhere else is, when you're driving a 2 lane road without shoulders, and go to turn left, what do you do? Of course, you move over into the oncoming lane, if there's someone behind you, so they don't have to slow down too! I did this in IL to allow a couple cars, one being a deputy, to pass me without slowing, but he stopped me to give me a ticket. I explained to him why I did it, and that it's as safe as making everybody slow down, probably safer, and he ended up nodding, putting his ticket book away, and saying 'hmm, never thought of it, you're right.' When I left that small town 5 years later, it was common to see that happen :) Also was common to see someone in oncoming car wave at you... [pats self on back] I like to think I taught them those things, and the town is much better off for it!

7:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was really cliche, but it made me laugh. Anyway, i thought that all cars came with conditioning. Although the list was amusing, i wouldn't say it's true. I live in Fort Worth.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really should find this offensive, but it's a hundred percent true. you forgot to add that we pop popcorn on the sidewalk, cause I have.

10:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Being from Texas, I have to say most of this is very accurate. And I can tell a lot of these comments are from out-of-staters because they're so hostile. Take a minute to learn some southern friendliness.

7:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so true! I was laughing because growing up in the World's Richest Acre, (real Texans know what that is), I've seen ALL of these and can apply them to someone. The people who say it's stereotypical, y'all are obviously from the city. As for the obese crap, look around and you'll see most of us aren't, and the stupid stereotype, I have a 102 in algebra and a 108 in US History, so you can shut it!

One should be added...
You know you're from Texas when... You consider people who live in cities with a population over 200,000 "city folk."

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. The majority of these are not very accurate. I don't understand why people think we carry guns throughout Texas. I had lived in Texas until I was eighteen and pursued a degree in the medical field. During my stay not a single person I knew had any sort of firearm. My former classmates had actually achieved their desired degree. Our educational system might vary depending where you are from. However, statistically; this goes for any country or region. It was also rare to see obesity. Family and friends chose vegan dietary habits. I was raised and lived in San Antonio for quite some time. I also grew up around people, in a community that do not have Texan / hillbilly accents. Never have I met a Texan that does. I would say-- about 35% of the things listed above are moderately plausible. Particularly about the weather and such. Perhaps I was just born here, around people that are less Texan- like?? It's a shame to have this idiotic, unhygienic image branded on Texans. Though I realise it's the people, not where you are from that make a difference. Stereotypes. Yikes.

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

Well most of the people here aren't the same. The big part of Texas is that we're all different. All ya'll who say these are innacurate are wrong. Most of these made me crack up since they're pretty much true. I live in Plano, Texas next to Dallas and have grown in between the rural and urban areas. Yet coke is a soft drink, a lot of us are obese (not all!), we are smart, I ride horses, eat steak, most of us drive pick up trucks, we wear cowboy boots, we're not afraid to get dirty, we eat steak, macaroni and gravy with our biscuits. I'm actually offended that people exclude Dallas from being a part of Texas. We have the weather, Micky D's, drought, 100 degree weather. Only the accents we lack of, an accent doesn't MAKE a Texan. Last games are more important than anything!

6:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this? U know ur black and happen to be in texas if...

5:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am born and raised Texan and I'm not sorry to say this is true. I live in the Dallas Metropolitan area and even we do all of these things.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I'll be moving to San Antonio here in a few weeks. At first I was a bit nervous but now..not at all! I come from a small town in North Carolina and besides the heat, a lot of this applies for small NC towns too. Now I'm kinda excited!

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haha im with this guy ^.

I aint never heard of any of them words, or know what they mean..?

10:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We don't sleep with our sisters, that's Louisiana.
I am sure that Houston has more dentist than the entirety of your state. Plus, you can't be over weight when you work outside 5 to 9 everyday. And, please take notice that we have NASA.

8:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These are kinda stereotypes...we're not ALL cowboys, ya know.

10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to agree with what someone said earlier, Texas is a big state. Most likely the whole list is gonna be true if you vist cities all over. Yall the texan culture is everywhere. People pick up and travel for some reason or another so the list gets spread out from big cities to small hick towns through out Texas.

11:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to agree with what someone said earlier, Texas is a big state. Most likely the whole list is gonna be true if you vist cities all over. Yall the texan culture is everywhere. People pick up and travel for some reason or another so the list gets spread out from big cities to small hick towns through out Texas.

11:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe yall are old I am in my 20's WHITE and fully understand every word.

5:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was raised in Texas and never left until I was almost 40. I was raised in El paso, Went to college in Lubbock, Lived in Waco, Monahans, Quannah, Plainview, Cold Springs, Tyler, Ft. Worth and Denver City. Not to mention I have visited most places in between. If you haven't gotten out and lived in small towns and only experienced "big city" life then no most of these will be un-true to you, however if you have resided in these smaller towns or remember that we shut down small towns and roll up the side walks for football and those of us that remember what a "Blue Law" is, then yes, all these are funny and make you have some great memories. If you were around when Lady bird didn't allow Texas to have billboards along the highways, then you remember the days when Dallas and Austin residents were not thought of as "real Texans" only because they had "big city ways". We have our own way of speaking, doing things and will always "know which of the five states of Texas (part of Texas)you are from when you open your mouth and speak!" all ya'll KNOW what I mean?

11:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From TX & I live in South Carolina now...I would KILL for a Jalapeno Whataburger...and Taco Cabana, Jack in the box and Whataburger were the only 24 hr fast food joints you could go to after the club! I sure miss Texas!

11:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tumble weeds are in Odessa to El Paso...East Texans may never have seen anything but forests, creeks,and lakes.

12:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm 26 and.lived in TX my whole life. Boys & and men have awesome manners alike, opening doors, saying yes ma'am no ma'am please and thank you no matter how old you are. TX WOMEN have no problem getting out there and playing in the mud, workin cattle from sun up to sun down, the Sand Drags is something we plan to be there once a year, Friday nights are highfootball and Sunday after church is NASCAR. We drink Sweet tea like it water. We never say no to a T- bone steak and baked potato from a grill. ALL COLLEGES FROM TX ARE GREAT EDUCATION and most importantly WE LOOK AFTER OUR OWN.!!! If a car breaks down in the middle of the road, we get out and help push, if someone is stuck in the snow, you grab a chain and pull them out, if your stuck in the mud, you tell them to spin those tires and watch the mud fly!!! Then get a chain. There's a reason they say " DONT MESS WITH TEXAS"! We love fishing, hunting, mudding, and drinking cold beer on Friday nights. If you for a problem with that then your in the wrong damn state. And don't forget YALL COME BACK NOW, YA HEAR!!

7:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually my High School's flag is the confederate flag. Midland Lee Rebels is what they call us.

9:37 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't worry. Over here in west Texas we have plenty of tumbleweeds for the rest of the state. Just google search "midland tx tumbleweeds" and look at images.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Something ain't right about them people from up north, I tell you what. They're using charcoal instead of Strickland propane and propane accessories.
- signed, Hank Hill.

9:50 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Texas starts with a T

11:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Florida sucks there making zombies!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:23 PM  
Blogger Raul Capeda said...

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6:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm from Austin and I've seen and done all of these things. Although I don't hunt half my friends do. I use y'all and ain't on a daily basis. Just because you're from a big city doesn't mean you have to act like it.

6:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've lived in Dallas all my life until about 3 months ago (36 years). I got tired of the heat, all the mexicans (50% of Dallas) literally...just tired of being a minority as a white when we made the city like the rest of the US and everything significant in the world. I moved to Indiana, supposed to be the northern most red state...yeah right! These are the rudest most messed up people i've ever seen in my life, guess northern Indiana is too close to Chicago, Detriot, etc. These people are so rude and barbaric, I can't even put it into words. Mexicans are lookin nice about now.

11:58 PM  
Blogger Amy Hughes said...

Oh fu*k this shit.Take it from a person born and raises in Texas!Me!
You know your Texan when you.....
~Know for a fact that ain't is a word
~Your dreaming when it snows every other year
~Surrounded by hispanics (Not that it's a bad thing,I have alot oh hispanic friends)
~At least one of your neighbors are racist.
~You say y'all at least twice a day
AND THE BIGGEST ONE IS............You have a Texan accent.BAM!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sweet tea, bbq, tacos, heat, friendly, guns, y'all, ain't, bout'a, gonna, trucks. Gringos that speak spanish, meskins that w twang accents. Great state economy, 4 large and diverse cities, military.

7:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Native to Abilene 1942 and "sweet tea" expression didn't appear on the official Texas scene until a couple of decades ago. That's a southern expression just not Texas. It's iced tea here. Most often assumed it had sugar.

7:56 PM  
Blogger Terry Busby said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

1:18 PM  
Blogger Terry Busby said...

"-You know Hwy. 35,I-30 and I-10 can get you ANYWHERE"

Uh, I-30 will take you from Texarkana to Ft. Worth, that's it. The next 600 miles to El Paso are I-20 (480 miles) and I-10 (190 miles).

1:21 PM  
Blogger Terry Busby said...

And your an eagles fan when you've watched 13 NFC East Superbowl Victories, but none by the pathetic eagles!

1:29 PM  
Blogger Terry Busby said...

^ and this proves you are an idiot! Anyone can make a list!

1:35 PM  

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